Is your child still struggling with the return to school? Here is how you can help them

Is your child waking with a tummy full of nerves, or dissolving into tears over something that would not normally faze them? So many parents are finding the return to school harder than expected, and even the most confident little girls and boys seem to be having a wobble. The good news is that a few simple nutritional changes can soothe those big emotions and give your child more in reserve.

For some, it is the enormous leap into reception class and being away from mummy or daddy for a full school day. Others have moved schools or adjusting to a new classroom or teacher. Your child might have moved from a tiny primary school, where everybody knew them, to an enormous secondary school full of unfamiliar faces. And in the older years they may know their way around school life, but changing friendships, academic pressure and all the emotional ups and downs of puberty can make school feel much more intense.

Nutrition cannot help them find the right classroom, make new friends or magic a forgotten hockey stick into school, but it can give your child’s brain and body a steadier foundation to help them cope with everything that the school day throws at them. Here are some simple nutritional wins to help your child feel stronger and more able to find their feet as the term goes on.

Has breakfast become a battle?

Lots of parents that I have spoken to have said the same thing: their child wakes feeling sick and simply cannot face breakfast. This is often because they are anxious. While their body is having this stress response, their hormones cortisol and adrenaline affect their digestion, leaving them with a tight or fluttery tummy, nausea, tummy ache, a racing heart or an urgent need for the loo.

It is little wonder that a bowl of breakfast can suddenly feel impossible. However, an empty stomach may then leave them feeling shakier, more tired and increasingly emotional, creating a difficult cycle where they feel too sick to eat but worse because they have not eaten. This is not the moment for a breakfast battle, so take the pressure off and try something small and manageable:

Offer water when they wake and give them a little time before offering breakfast.
Try an electrolyte if they are very tired or wobbly on waking.
Begin with two or three mouthfuls of eating something familiar.
Try a smoothie if drinking feels easier than chewing.
Pack a nourishing second breakfast for the school run or break time if school allows it.

Some good examples for a light breakfast are a few spoonfuls of Greek yoghurt with berries and oats, half a banana with a few nuts, cheese and oatcakes, egg on toast or a smoothie. Pop a homemade flapjack or muffin into their school bag for later if needed.

You should also consider supplementing your child with zinc if they have had a poor morning appetite for some time. Zinc can settle the gut and nervous system and helps bolster a child’s senses of taste and smell, making food seem more appealing. Meat, eggs, dairy foods, chickpeas, cashews and pumpkin seeds are all useful sources of zinc.

Different ages need different kinds of help

Kids of all ages might say, “I don’t want to go to school”, but what is lying underneath those words can be very different. The practical help they need will change with age, and so will the best ways to nourish their growing brains and bodies. Here are some ideas:

Young kids: “I don’t want to leave you”

For your child who is in reception or key stage 1, the hardest part may simply be separating from the person who makes them feel safest. They are adjusting to unfamiliar adults, a busy classroom, new rules, school lunches, finding the loo and a much longer day.

They may hold everything together at school and then fall apart as soon as they see you at the gate. Some become clingier, wake in the night or start worrying about things that did not bother them before. Others are ravenously hungry at school collection time, while some are simply too tired and overwhelmed to eat.

Key wins for your young child:

Keep mornings predictable

Use the same short, loving goodbye each day and consider a picture chart showing breakfast, teeth, uniform, shoes and school. Knowing what happens next can help a young child feel safer.

Take the pressure off food

If they cannot manage to eat very much in the morning, let a few familiar mouthfuls be enough and send them in with a second breakfast, if the school allows it.

Pack their lunch

If your reception child takes a packed lunch, it is a lovely opportunity to give them the energy they need for the afternoon ahead. Keep portions familiar and easy to open, perhaps an egg or chicken wrap, hummus with pitta, cheese and oatcakes, yoghurt, berries or a little seeded flapjack.

Refuel them after school

Offer a drink and something simple such as yoghurt with berries, cheese and oatcakes or apple with nut or seed butter.

What they need most is safety, predictability, regular nourishment and plenty of time to recover from the day.

Moving to secondary school: “I don’t know where I’m supposed to be”

The move to secondary school can feel enormous. Your child may have come from a small primary school where one teacher knew them so well. Suddenly, there are changing classrooms, different teachers, homework platforms, sports kit, buses and hundreds of unfamiliar children. It is easy to tell them to ask for help, but the child who most needs help may be the one least able to put up their hand and request it.

One mum I spoke to sent her daughter into school in tears, realising her PE bag was still sitting at home. Her daughter was already feeling lost and overwhelmed, so having to explain what had happened to a teacher, and ask for spare kit, felt like the final straw. A child whose brain and body are well nourished may have more reserves for problem-solving, managing big feelings and recovering from these small knocks.

Many kids at this stage are also at the beginning of puberty. For both boys and girls, hormonal changes and rapid growth can affect sleep, appetite, energy, confidence and how intensely they experience their emotions. They may become more self-conscious, more easily embarrassed or far more upset by something that might previously have rolled off them. It is important to remember how much change is happening both around them and inside them.

Key wins for your child moving schools:

Remove the small uncertainties

Put their timetable somewhere visible, make sure they know where they can go at lunchtime, practise the bus arrangements and identify one adult they can approach if they feel lost.

Send emergency nourishment

A snack such as a seeded oat bar, a sandwich or a brain-boosting muffin can be invaluable if lunch feels too rushed, noisy or overwhelming.

Help them remember to drink

With lessons in different classrooms and so much else to think about, tweenagers can easily forget to drink water or feel unsure about where to refill their bottle. Even mild dehydration may leave them feeling tired, headachy, irritable or less able to concentrate. Send them in with a full water bottle, show them where they can refill it and encourage a good drink at breakfast and again when they get home.

Nourish their rapidly growing body

Include protein from eggs, Greek yoghurt, cheese, meat, fish, beans, lentils, nuts and seeds. Oily fish such as salmon, sardines, mackerel, trout and herring provide omega-3 fats, which are important building blocks for a growing brain and keeping the nervous system balanced.

Ask for discreet support

If your child is scared to ask for help at school, let a key member of staff at the school know rather than waiting for them to speak up. A quiet check-in can make an enormous difference without making them feel singled out.

Navigating the teenage dramas: “I want to be independent, but I’m not quite ready yet”

By their teens your child may look more confident and independent, but this does not necessarily mean they are finding school easy. They are dealing with more complicated friendships, social media, body image, academic expectations and thoughts about subject choices and their future.

Puberty is also well under way for many boys and girls, which can bring fluctuating moods, disrupted sleep, changing appetites and greater sensitivity about their appearance or place within a friendship group.

They may become withdrawn, irritable or unusually angry, struggle to sleep or seem permanently exhausted. They may also push away the very parent they still really need.

Key wins for your teen:

Make space for them to talk

Try talking to them while driving, walking the dog or preparing food together. Teenagers often open up more easily when eye contact and formal conversation are removed.

Quietly check the basics

Did they eat enough breakfast? Did they manage lunch? Are they drinking enough water and getting anything close to enough sleep? Long gaps without food and several late nights can make an already difficult day feel much harder.

Easy protein wins

Growing teenagers need more food than we expect, especially when they are going through a growth spurt. Eggs, Greek yoghurt, cheese, hummus, chicken, fish, beans, nuts and seeds can all make useful meals or snacks without requiring a big conversation about nutrition.

Keep an eye on iron

Iron is vital for regulating the nervous system as well as energy. You can sometimes spot that your child may need a little more iron if they look paler than usual, seem more exhausted or breathless, or are finding it particularly difficult to concentrate. Low iron kids seem sullen, wary and like to be alone. Top them up with iron-rich foods such as red meat, sardines, eggs, lentils, beans, pumpkin seeds or supplement. A simple blood test to check whether their iron stores are running low is a good idea if things persist.

Key supplements to help when they are stressed & overwhelmed

Certain herbal and mineral supplements are fantastic at calming those awful feelings of anxiety and can support the nervous system. These are useful tools to have at home when your child needs a remedy to make them feel safer and more supported. See these as a big hug when your child is feeling really out of sorts.

Saffron: Saffron, the spice in paella can help to reduce feelings of anxiety and stress in your children by balancing their serotonin and GABA, the brain chemicals which are responsible for improving mood and calming the nervous system. It is a safe supplement for children aged 6+.

Theanine: Theanine is a non-stimulating amino acid found in green tea that helps to promote feelings of calmness and focus within an hour of taking it. It is suitable for children 4+.

Lemon Balm: Lemon balm is a fabulous herb which also works on the brain chemical GABA which makes them feel safe. Lemon balm can provide quick, short-term stress and anxiety relief. The leaves can be made into a calming tea, or your child can take a supplement in the morning before they head off for school. This is suitable for children 2+.

Magnesium: Magnesium is a vital nutrient for our nervous systems, that cannot only be depleted by stress, but low levels can increase feelings of stress, creating a vicious cycle! Adding a supplement into your child’s routine, may help to support their sleep and stress levels throughout the day.

Round Up

Starting a new school or the new school year is a huge transition, and even the child who looks confident on the outside may be working incredibly hard simply to get through the day. A wobbly start does not mean the whole year will be difficult. And with the right nutritional support, plenty of kindness and the right people around them, children can begin to feel safer, steadier and more like themselves again.

If your child is still struggling and you are unsure whether what you are seeing is an ordinary settling-in wobble, anxiety, the effects of puberty or possible nutritional gaps, you do not have to unpick it alone. Our NatureDoc clinical team can look at the whole picture, including your child’s diet, appetite, energy, sleep, gut health, development and individual health history. Where appropriate, we can arrange testing and build a personalised, realistic plan around what your child needs.

For more guidance, read my blogs on nutrition to help an anxious child feel safer and what to do when your child cannot face school.

Sending a big hug to you all. You will all get through this!

Ask me what supplements can help… or anything else!